3 STAGES OF CHANGE

Have you ever known someone who was always stating that they would do this or do that? And when you follow-up with them, you still got the answer that they hadn’t gotten around to doing it yet. And you play the game of listening to them telling the same story over and over. At first, you were skeptical, but you believed them. Disappointment followed time and time again until one day you stopped believing them and may have screamed, “Stop It! We both know that you are not going to do it!”

Well, that person, for me, has been the Black Lives Matter organization. Since 2017, they have shown up to towns to protest against police brutality (which no one in their rights minds is defending). However, as I begin to look into the organization, I saw that its founders are three Black and Lesbian women, which I could care less about. Still, it did shed light on their mission to dismantle the government and traditional family structure. The founders are not conventional, and therefore they are opposed to any conventional system, be it the family or any authority structure within the government.

Black Lives Matter has gotten over 1 billion dollars (yes, I said a billion) through donations this year. Forty million dollars came within 48 hours of the George Floyd incident. Once I found this out, I began to wonder...

  • What is BLM doing with the money that they have taken in?

  • Why is it that BLM only shows their presence at negative police interactions with Black people?

  • Why don’t they speak out against gang violence or against the shooting of little kids within their own community?

     

Then, the facts slapped me right in my face. THEY JUST TOOK IN OVER A BILLION DOLLARS!!!!!! Why would they change or do anything else? A fundamental truth is incentive drives behavior. They are being incentivized to do precisely what they are doing. While we understand why Black Lives Matter will not change their position, the question of what makes anyone change is still up in the air

Leaders understand that change is a natural part of life; however, most people only change for 3 reasons.

 

Change Due to Pain

I wish I could say that I regularly go to the dentist on my scheduled checkups, but I don’t; however, I remember when I had a toothache and had to get my tooth removed. I was eager to see the dentist to ease my pain, and even further, I was willing to make any changes to avoid that pain in the future.

 Most people behave like me until that toothache plays out in another part of your life. You change when things get terrible and almost to the point of being unbearable. We naturally seek comfortably no matter is if the comfort is good or bad for us. The idea of change is uncomfortable and we rationalize the known is better than the unknown.

 

Change Due to Learning

A couple of years ago, I went over my Aunt’s house, and she offered to make me a sandwich. I agreed, thinking it would be the same old Oscar Mayer packaged meat with a little Mayo on some regular bread. Man, was I wrong! This sandwich was fantastic! She brought out some freshly sliced turkey meat and put the sandwich on a croissant with some sliced cheese from the deli and a slice of romaine lettuce. I bit into that sandwich and I was in heaven. That day I changed my sandwich preference, and now I only purchase turkey meat from the deli.

This change process usually doesn’t happen until some new and better information is introduced and accepted into your life. New and better experiences change our lives by changing our perspective to never see things the same way again.

Change Due to Fulfillment

Contentment brings about a world of new experiences. I remember when I had gotten a bonus from work, and Toya and I were walking through a shopping area. Someone offered tea, and I figured that I had received enough, and now it was time to spread the wealth. The salesperson used all the sales techniques, and I’m actively participating in the process. We got to the counter, and the price took me back, but I had enough and was ready to give back, so I slid my card to the salesperson and thanked her for her time.

That incident taught me that you are willing to share and change when you feel like you have enough. Until that point, you are in survival mode and are looking to take care of you, your four, and no more. Nothing changes until that point because surviving doesn’t consider any options besides the present and how to make in that moment while change is future thinking.

 

Change starts with a decision and moves into a process that must be learned, cultivated, and managed. And while you may not have a billion dollars as your incentive, you do have something to motivate you to change while simultaneously you have something keeping you the same. The choice is yours.

           

                WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE CHANGING?

       DO YOU LIKE IT, LOVE IT, OR YOU CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF IT?

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